INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
CHARONE sits on a bed with her back to the audience. She rolls over lazily to face them.
Hi there QT's.
Charone makes the letters Q and T with her hands.
I'm Charone and I'm going to help you become the number one expert as a sexual phone operator tonight.
Charone picks up a phone receiver.
Charone puts down the phone.
I make it seem easy, but here's a serious question: how does one get the sex voice inside an ear? Learning how to 100% properly operate a phone is half the battle when it comes sexual telephone operation. I would even argue it's 86% of the battle. Here are the basics to get you started on your journey to having a good telephone sex.
Charone picks up the entire phone.
First, make sure you have a phone and be absolutely certain it's a real phone. If it's real it will probably be plastic and if it's not real it will still be plastic so be careful! Phones can be tricky. Second, some phones are used for sex and some phones are not used for sex. You can either use the phone you use for sex phoning or not the phone you use for sex phoning. It makes no difference. Again, just be sure it's a real phone and not a toy phone. Once I had an hour long conversation with my special guy only to find out it was not my special guy! It was Elmo. Luckily I learned a lot about numbers that day so no big deal!
Charone picks up the receiver of the phone.
Now that you have the phone planted firmly in your hand, only pick up the part that you need to speak sex into. If you hold the entire phone and the call is particularly good and or sexy then you're arm will get tired and you'll want to do less sex talking. This is bad and not good!
Charone puts the base of the phone onto the bed while still holding the receiver.
We're getting very close to having a real phone sex talk! Now that you have the receiver in your hand you need to call that special someone that's going to be getting all of that sex talk from you. Your special someone should identify by a 10-digit code that you can punch into the phone. If your phone is real, this will be easy.
While the phone is ringing now is a perfect time opportunity to make sure no one else is sharing the line with you. This is rare and happens if you share a land line with your parents like me. Once I thought I was having a steamy phone chat but I oops never finished dialing the number and instead was talking sexually with my parents for twenty minutes. Boy was I red and uncomfortable with my life choices in that moment.
Charone covers the receiver with her hand.
Mom! Dad! Get off the phone!
Charone puts the phone back up to her ear.
Now you're ready for all of the sex communications your body can handle.
Charone hangs up the phone.
I'm still waiting for my special someone to sex phone with. If you want to already be practicing these exciting and real techniques punch in my personal code at 123-456-7890. Also don't forget that Charone rhymes with a...
The word phone.